Jesus has just shared a meal with His disciples. He knows what’s about to happen, how He’ll be arrested, unjustly tried and then crucified. So He heads out to the Mount of Olives with His disciples to pray. He says:

“Abba, Father, everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.” (Mark 14:36)

A number of years ago, I was going through a hard, discouraging season. It was the low point of my life. It felt like nothing was going well. God felt distant, uncaring and unconcerned. I felt abandoned. Forgotten. And I had little hope that things would get better.

One morning, Robyn said, “You were talking in your sleep last night.” My first thought was one of concern. What did I say? Did I mention another woman? Was I in trouble? So I asked her what I’d said.

“It was only one word. It was loud and clear, but it wasn’t your voice,” she said. “You cried out, ‘Abba.'”

In the months leading up to that day, I’d been reading Romans chapter 8 almost everyday. It’s one of three places in the Bible where “Abba” is used. One of the others is here in Mark 14. Abba is the Aramaic word for “father.” Later in Romans 8, Paul also says we don’t know what to pray for, but the Holy Spirit does and He will cry out to the Father, to Abba, on our behalf. Romans 8:26-27 says:

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

The Spirit in me was crying out to the Father. A good Father. A loving Father. A Father who always has my best in mind. And in the Garden of Gethsemane, the Spirit in Jesus is crying out to the Father.

Jesus acknowledges that all things are possible with the Father. He’s not talking to someone who is good, but unable. Someone who is loving, but weak. Someone who would help if he could, but lacks the power. No, He’s talking to the One true God, the sovereign Ruler of the universe. Nothing is impossible for Him.

So Jesus asks Him to stop what’s about to happen, to take away the adversity, the suffering, the pain He’s about to endure. No sane man would want to be arrested, mocked, beaten, whipped and crucified. Especially an innocent man.

Jesus knew why He’d come though. He knew it was His hour. He knew His assignment was about to be complete. But He also knows everything is possible for His Father. Maybe there’s another way. Maybe He doesn’t have to die like this. Maybe there’s some other way to pay for the sins of mankind.

You and I won’t experience crucifixion, but we suffer in other ways. We experience health issues, like cancer, leukemia, COVID-19, chronic pain or any number of issues. Suffering is personal. And relative. One person’s pain and suffering might not appear to be as difficult as another’s, but to that person it is.

Maybe your suffering is relational. An uncaring, insensitive spouse. A difficult or even rebellious child. A frustrating co-worker or an unfair, demanding boss. Your suffering might be financial. You may have been laid off or lost your business. Or maybe you’ve been hit with unexpected repair bills or medical expenses and you see no way to ever catch up.

Your suffering might be more emotional. You feel lonely. Misunderstood. Left out. Anxious. Afraid. Stuck. Hopeless. Worried. Jealous. Insecure. Confused.

Know this—no matter how you’re suffering today, Jesus sees you. He understands. And He’s close. Not far away. Not uncaring. Not unconcerned.

He goes on…

“Yet.” Such a big word. Maybe one of the hardest words to pray. I’m coming to You, Father. I know You are good. I know You are faithful. I know You love me. And I know everything is possible for You, so take this trial, this suffering away from me. Maybe Jesus paused here, hoping, waiting for an answer. And then continued. “Yet not what I will…”

Last summer, I began to pray for more of the Lord. I needed more of Him. I wanted more of Him. But it was more than that. I had to have more of Him. It didn’t feel optional. It didn’t feel like it would be nice to have if it happened. I was desperate for more of Him.

It wasn’t long after that I sensed the Lord say, “Give me your dreams.” I had long ago given Him my life. I’d given Him all I had. But I realized I hadn’t given Him what I wanted. I had dreams and desires, ones I believe He has actually put in me, but I began to give them a place above Him. My dreams and desires had become idols.

It was a yet moment. “Lord, I really want these things (long pause hoping for the answer I want) yet not as I will…”

My new goal became more of the Lord, not the things I desired. And soon, my prayer became, “Lord, I need more of you, at any cost.” And it continues to be my prayer. Some days I do better than others actually living it out, but it is my deepest and highest and truest desire.

Jesus, finished His prayer with “but what You will.” The Father has higher purposes. The Father is working out an eternal plan. The Father is fulfilling promises made thousands of years earlier. And those purposes, plans and promises transcend temporary suffering. Even the suffering of His Son. And His purposes, plans and promises in your life also transcend your suffering. And mine.

Romans 5 and James 1 essentially say the same thing. When we suffer, when we go through trials, when our faith is tested, it leads to perseverance. Despite the pain or confusion, we keep going. We don’t quit. We keep seeking, keep praying, keep trusting. And that leads to growth in our character. In other words, we begin to look more and more like Jesus. Perseverance also leads to greater faith as we see the Lord come through by sustaining us and accomplishing His purposes and plans. And perseverance leads to greater effectiveness and fruitfulness as we remain connected to Him and He bears fruit through us (John 15:1-8). All of these things are the “what You will” part of the prayer, the things that are the Father’s will for each one of us.

I don’t know what hard stuff you’re facing today, but cry out to your Father, for whom all things are possible. It’s okay to pray He’ll take away whatever it is you’re dealing with. But be prepared with your yet, because He is working out something in you and for you and through you that is far more wonderful and glorious than the temporary suffering.