According to Merriam-Webster, a hypocrite is:

1 : a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion
2 : a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings

To be honest, I struggle with both definitions. Not that I disagree with them, but that they describe me.

I want to appear more godly or righteous than I know I am and I have more trouble than I’d like to admit in simply living according to my own stated beliefs.

That makes me a hypocrite or maybe a recovering hypocrite.

This past Sunday, I preached a sermon on “Triumphant Suffering.” My point was that suffering is inevitable, for all of us, so we need to have a biblical perspective on it.

On Monday, I joked with a friend that God would probably test me on it.

Guess what?

On Monday night, I experienced a medical symptom that alarmed me. While hoping it wasn’t anything serious, I knew it could be.

I can’t tell you I wasn’t nervous that night, but my own words from Sunday came back to me. So rather than praying my symptoms weren’t the result of anything serious, I instead prayed that God’s power would be revealed in me…even if that meant there was something seriously wrong.

The symptom was still there Tuesday morning, so I went to see my doctor who also happens to be a good friend. He examined me and explained what he thought was causing my symptom. Just to be safe though, he ordered a test to rule out cancer.

This morning, I received the results of the test. I don’t have cancer.

I can tell you that if I did have cancer, I would have prayed like crazy for God to heal me. But I think I can also honestly say I would have prayed like crazy for His power to be revealed in my mortal body.

“For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body.” (2 Corinthians 4:11)

Maybe it’s because I’m getting older (and closer to death) or maybe it’s because I’ve been leading a Bible study about heaven (and looking forward to being there someday) or maybe it’s because I’m becoming just a little bit more like Jesus (and less of a hypocrite), but I want to see God’s power revealed in me even if it means “being given over to death.”

Don’t get me wrong–I’m thrilled I don’t have cancer and want to live to see my great-grandchildren, but if suffering is inevitable (and it is), I want to do it well, so Jesus can be revealed in me.