You prayed for months, but things didn’t turn out like you’d hoped.

Your daughter seemed to be doing so much better, but then without warning, she seems to have taken several steps back.

You did the reading and studied hard, but got a “D”.

You were in remission, but the test results show the cancer is back.

You stuck to your budget, gave generously and believed God would bless you, but the car broke down, the washing machine quit working and to top it all off–you got laid off.

We want, we hope and we pray for something, but it doesn’t happen. The natural reaction is to then feel disappointed.

When we feel disappointed, it’s natural to look for someone or something to blame. We can blame a person. We can blame the president. We can blame the economy. We just have to blame someone.

Sometimes we place the blame on God. I’ve done that. Sometimes I still do.

My reasoning goes like this: God is all-powerful so He can do anything at any time. He didn’t come through for me. Therefore, He’s to blame for my disappointment.

It doesn’t end there though.

If God is to blame, then I think maybe He’s not as good or loving as He claims to be. Maybe He’s just some arbitrary Being who blesses some and gives a hard time to others.

Can you hear the bitterness and cynicism beginning to creep in?

It’s a dangerous path to walk down. I’ve been down it. It’s a dark one.

So what are we to do when we feel disappointed with our circumstances or another person or with God?

Maybe that’s not even the right question. Maybe what we need to do is re-think our assumptions and expectations.

Think of it this way–if my assumptions are correct and/or I have no expectations, then I can never be disappointed. For example, if I assume life is going to be hard, then I’m not surprised or disappointed when it actually is. Or if I do not expect other people to follow through with commitments, then I avoid being disappointed when they don’t.

Of course, that would be a very jaded way to go through life, but if my goal is to never be disappointed, then it works.

The problem comes when I decide to lower my expectations of God. When I decide to stop praying and hoping He’ll be good or ever help me, then I’m in trouble. I’ve given in to bitterness. I’ve become cynical. I’m on the dark path.

So what’s the solution? Should I just continue to feel disappointed with life? With others? With God?

No, there’s another way.

I need to base my assumptions and expectations on what is true, not what is false. Easier said than done, I know.

We’ve all picked up false beliefs along the way that can trip us up. We believe if we “behave” then God is somehow obligated to bless us. We believe if we train our children well, they’ll become model citizens. We believe if God is good and loving, then surely He’ll give us what we desire, especially since they’re such good desires.

Those assumptions can sound good and reasonable–that’s what makes them so powerfully dangerous. But we’re not looking for what sounds good and reasonable, we’re looking for truth.

Here are some assumptions and expectations I believe to be rock-solid true:

• God loves me more than I’ll ever understand.
• God is good and faithful no matter what.
• God enjoys being trusted.
• I’m living in the midst of a war between God and Satan, therefore this life can get really messy.
• God answers prayers according to His will, but His timing and His ways are beyond figuring out.

What if you were to expect more of God Himself, not just what you want Him to do for you?

“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4)

What if you were to make your highest goal to delight yourself in the Lord and trust Him to give you His desires, so that He could then grant them? Delighting in Him means you make Him your focus. You find your joy and pleasure in knowing Him better. You make a habit of obeying Him. You remember that He’s the main character in the story, not you.

What if the answer to feeling disappointed is not to expect less, but to expect more of the right things? To expect that even in the midst of painful circumstances and hard relationships that God is still good, can still be trusted and can always give me peace and comfort no matter what?

Have great expectations. Let your heart desire big. Just make God the focus, not what you want Him to do. He will never be disappointing.