Somehow that little boy I used to run around the yard with grew into a man and left home two days ago to begin his career in the Navy. After basic training, he’ll begin training for BUD/S (Basic Underwater Demolition/SEAL). The picture below was taken a couple hours before we said goodbye.

As parents, there are many releasing moments through the years. Moments when you hope you’ve prepared your children for the next season of life. Moments you realize everything is about to change and there’s no going back to the way things were. Kindergarten is a releasing moment. So is getting a driver’s license. And going to high school. College is a big one.

None of those compare though to that moment when you release your child for good. It might mean releasing them to marriage or to move away to another city (or country) or to join the military. The relationship changes at that point. As a parent, you know you can’t protect them and care for them like you once did.

I will miss all those days I picked my son up from football practice before he could drive. I’ll miss making his lunch to take to school. I’ll miss going to Razorback football games with him. I’ll miss making him dessert when he was in the mood for something sweet. I’ll miss putting away his shaker cups he used to mix his protein drinks. I’ll miss hearing him say he’s going to hang out with Tommy and Xander. And I’ll miss a thousand other things.

Up until yesterday, I saw my son almost every day of his life. Sure, there were times I was traveling or he was away at camp, but I probably saw him 95% of all the days in his life. That changed yesterday. Over the next year, I might see him for a total of a week.

I wasn’t looking forward to him leaving. I knew it would be hard, but I didn’t anticipate it being this hard. The past few days have felt more like a death. I’m glad we’re giving his car away because I don’t think I could take seeing it parked at our house everyday. And I don’t think I can go in his bedroom again any time soon. It hurts to see everything looking just the way it was when he lived in it, but knowing he’ll never live there again.

We still have our youngest daughter with us while she completes raising her support to serve with Young Life in Germany. I don’t want to even think about putting her on a plane and saying goodbye. Not yet.