Don’t you love it when someone exceeds your expectations? It could be your spouse who prepares your favorite meal while you relax. Or a server in a restaurant who anticipates your needs and meets them. It could be an online retailer who ships your order sooner than you expected.

On the other hand, it can be very frustrating and disappointing when we have expectations that go unmet. Even if our expectations were unrealistic or never even expressed, we can still feel disappointed.

When I meet with couples to do their premarital counseling, we talk about expectations they have for marriage. The more they understand their own expectations and their spouse’s the better off they’ll be. Unmet or unrealistic expectations are a relationship-killer.

That’s why it’s critical to understand our expectations of God and whether or not they’re realistic.

You’re probably familiar with the story in Genesis 6 where God sees the extent of human wickedness and decides to destroy every living thing on the earth in a flood. Only Noah, his wife, their three sons and their wives will be spared along with pairs of animals. We don’t know exactly how long it took Noah to build the ark, but it’s safe to say it probably took decades.

In Genesis 7, the flood comes and completely covers the earth for five months. At this point, mankind has been wiped out. Only those in the ark survive.

Do you think Noah looked outside after those five months and said something like, “Okay God, mission accomplished. Take away the water now.”

I would have. I would have figured I’d done everything God asked, everyone was now dead, I’d been at this a long time and so it was time for the water to go.

But Genesis 8:1 says, “He sent a wind to blow across the earth, and the floodwaters began to recede.” Verse 3 tells us, “…the floodwaters gradually receded from the earth.”

God sent a wind? The floodwaters gradually receded? Really? Gradually?

If you read all of Genesis 8, you’ll see that Noah, his family and the animals were on the ark for a total of about a year. A year on a boat. With your family. And a lot of stinky animals. Noah was a righteous man, so maybe that means his expectations were realistic, but being under those conditions for a year would be really, really tough.

Without realistic expectations, I can see how Noah would have gotten very angry. I can understand it, because of how I would have felt. I would have reasoned that if God was powerful enough to cover the earth with water, then He could just easily make it all go away. I have the tendency to do that with problems that are much smaller than a worldwide flood.

Isn’t that how we want God to deal with our problems though? Don’t we want Him to just make them go away?

That’s not how He seems to work though. At least not in my life. More often than not, God works gradually. My problems or trials or weaknesses don’t just disappear overnight, they gradually recede as I trust Him and walk with Him. Hebrews 11:6 says, “And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.”

If you find yourself feeling angry or disappointed with God, check your expectations. Just because He’s all-powerful and loving, it doesn’t mean He’s going to snap His fingers and fix your problem. What I see is that God is more interested in helping me walk through problems rather than rescuing me from them.

There are days when God does move dramatically. Days when He shows up in some big way in our lives. And I love those days. But today is more likely to be a “gradually recede” day. And that will require me to have realistic expectations and walk with Him by faith.