I fear snakes. I hate them. Occasionally, I’ll have a dream about them. It’s never good.

When you don’t know much about snakes, like I don’t, it’s probably a healthy thing to fear them. I couldn’t tell you if it’s a good snake to have around to eat mice or if it’s the most venomous one there is. And honestly, I’m not all that interested in learning. My philosophy is to whack it with a shovel and ask questions later.

Sometimes fear is a correct response. It can save our lives. You should fear driving drunk. You should fear a masked man with a gun. If you don’t understand electricity, like I don’t, you should fear messing around with exposed wires if the breaker isn’t turned off.

To me, those are healthy fears. What makes them healthy? It’s a correct understanding of the facts. It’s when my emotions are reacting to the truth.

There’s one ultimate healthy fear, which we’ll get to in a minute, but first let’s talk about our unhealthy fears. There are some powerful ones, which can lead to very unwelcome consequences.

Some of us fear others. By that, I mean we overly care about their opinions of us. We want their approval. We want them to like us. We want them to validate us.

Of course, we all want to be liked. Well, most of us do. If you truly don’t care what anyone thinks of you, then you’ve got a different problem. If you speak your mind at all times regardless of how it makes someone else feel, you’re probably what most of us would refer to as a jerk. Sorry if that offends you.

For the rest of us though, we do have some concern about what others think about us. The problem is that it can be taken to an unhealthy concern. And when it gets there, we live in fear. That fear usually leads us to not speak up, not rock the boat and not do anything that might lead to someone else’s disapproval of us.

Rather than living confidently in the power of Christ, we live in constant fear of not offending others or doing anything that would cause them to not like us.

The tragedy is that when we live this way, we really can’t enter into truly loving relationships. Love requires us to focus on what’s best for others. Love calls us to speak the truth to help others grow. When we’d rather be liked than love others, we’ll never risk speaking the truth.

Another fear many of us deal with is a fear of our circumstances. We fear financial difficulties. We fear what the doctor may tell us. We fear our children being exposed to people or information we don’t agree with. We fear meeting new people. We fear taking a test. We fear ________________. Go ahead and fill in the blank for you.

One of the things I’ve noticed is that most of what I fear never happens. When I was a sophomore in high school, I lived in fear leading up to an intra-squad football scrimmage. I was afraid I would have to play against seniors who were much bigger and better than me. I was so afraid and so worried, it gave me a migraine. I was fixated on some future potential problem, it produced fear, even dread, but then it never actually occurred.

Fear of circumstances can also be based on our current situation continuing. If you’re currently unemployed, you may fear that you’ll still be unemployed in six months. Or maybe you’ve been trying to get pregnant and fear you’ll still be without a child a year from now.

You cannot possibly know what God has planned for you in the future. His plans for you will always be good though. It’s never healthy or helpful to live in fear that our current circumstances will never change for the better.

Some of us fear failure. You have an idea for a new invention. You have the content for a great book. You’d like to quit your job and go back to school. You’ve always wanted to run a marathon or open a restaurant or speak to a group.

But because you fear failure, you do nothing.

You’re willing to give up on a dream so that you don’t have to risk the potential of things not turning out like you hope they will. Think about though. If you step out in faith, trusting God to help you–what’s the worst thing that could happen? Even if your idea doesn’t work out like you’d dreamed, the process may be the very thing that God uses to reveal Himself and His next steps for your life.

Doing nothing because you fear failure is far more costly than “failing.”

Some people fear punishment. If they mess up, they fear God is going to finally lose His patience and give them a good whack. He may take from them someone they love. He may give them cancer. He may take away a job. Ultimately, He may decide they just weren’t worthy of heaven. Each of those fears are based on an incorrect view of God’s love, grace, mercy and forgiveness.

If you dig just beneath the surface of each of these fears, you’ll find faulty beliefs. You don’t understand God’s character. Or you don’t understand God’s promises. Or you don’t understand God’s ways.

The only solution?

Fear.

Fear of God. That’s the one, ultimate, healthy fear.

Here’s how I would define the fear of God:

An understanding and awareness of God’s presence, power and rule that produces in me a sense of awe and respect that leads to obedience.

In the book of Ecclesiastes, after Solomon had tried everything he could to find pleasure and fulfillment in this life, he concluded with these words (Ecc. 12:13-14):

Now all has been heard;
here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the whole duty of man.

For God will bring every deed into judgment,
including every hidden thing,
whether it is good or evil.

What do you fear? Others? Circumstances? Failure? Punishment? Something else?

Those are unhealthy fears. They’re holding you back from being who God has called you to be and accomplishing what God has called you to do. Begin to dig beneath them. Root out the wrong beliefs that led to them. Begin to cultivate a healthy fear of God and invest time in His word, so that you can learn to obey Him. It’s the whole duty of man.

Last thing, try this little exercise to help you begin to fear God:

Set aside 20 minutes where you can be alone in a quiet place. If you can go outside at night and look up at the stars, even better. Now for 20 minutes, meditate (think hard about) on the following:

God has no beginning. There’s never been a time He was not in existence. He is unbelievably powerful and holy. He needs nothing. “All things were created by Him and for Him.” (Colossians 1:16) That means that you belong to Him and exist for His pleasure. How you live matters to Him and has consequences both now and forever. And according to the last verse of Ecclesiastes, He will one day ask you to give an account for your life.

Try that 20 minutes a day and see what happens.