How to Change Your Feelings

Earlier today, I was talking with a friend who had some skin cancer removed this week. He has to wait nine more days for the pathology report to learn whether the cancer cells were contained or if they’ve possibly spread to his lymph nodes. I commented about how hard it would be to wait for nine more days. His response was, “I don’t care. God is sovereign.”

What my friend is really saying is, “I don’t have to care, because I know God does and He’s the one who’s in control.”

His thought or belief is: God cares about him and is in control of whatever happens.

The feeling that results is: peace.

Thoughts produce feelings.

If I had three pieces of information about someone, I think I’d be able to accurately tell you how they were feeling…whether they were: Happy? Hopeful? Anxious? Worried? Peaceful? Stressed? Calm? Fearful? Angry? Discouraged? Loved?

Here’s what I’d need to know:

1. What do they read?

2. Who or what do they listen to?

3. Who or what do they look at or watch?

Given that information, I’d know how someone was feeling. Why?

Because if I know what they’re filling their mind with, then I’ll have a good idea what they’re thinking. And if I know what they’re thinking, then I know how they’re feeling, because again, thoughts produce feelings.

How do you feel today?

If it’s something negative like fear, worry or anxiety, then the solution is to change your thoughts. And of course that’s much easier said than done. My friend didn’t just wake up this morning and start believing God was sovereign. I guarantee that’s a belief he has cultivated for many years.

What thoughts have you been cultivating for many years? Are they true? Are you believing the truth about God? Yourself? Life? Or have you mostly filled your mind with ideas and principles from the world system?

Your feelings will let you know.

In Philippians 4:4-9, Paul writes…

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Regardless of what you’re going through–peace can be yours. You can present your requests to Him and His peace will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus. And you can choose to think about the things that are true and to put them into practice and the God of peace will be with you.

I’m not suggesting this is easy. It’s a battle. A moment by moment battle. And it’s fought in the mind.

Anything good is worth fighting for, right?

Take an inventory of your thoughts today. Where are they coming from? If you’re feeling anxious or fearful–stop for a moment and trace your thoughts back. What thought led to that feeling? What truth needs to replace the wrong thought? We have to learn to do this because…

Thoughts produce feelings.

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6 thoughts on “How to Change Your Feelings

  1. Thanks for writing this post.

    I am more in line with Matt’s original thoughts.

    We live in this world, and I believe we will always experience some form of tension due to 1) walking in faith while 2) living in this fallen world.

    But should we focus on fighting? I don’t think so.

    If we are going to labor/work for anything, I think we should labor/work to enter into the rest of God. Because when we trust His promises, we rest.

    Heb. 4.2 For we also have had the good news proclaimed to us, just as they did; but the message they heard was of no value to them, because they did not share the faith of those who obeyed.

    Heb. 4.10 for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works, just as God did from his.

    Heb. 4.11 Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will perish by following their example of disobedience.

  2. Thanks for responding.

    I guess it’s about proportion. Sure, there were always kids who would want to sway me away from obeying my parents, but my parents, though sometimes imposing rules that I didn’t like, were able to balance those influences out with their own good influences and quell my ‘rebellion’ rather easily. Their sphere of influence was stronger and usually won out. It wasn’t a constant relentless struggle for me to force myself to obey them. They lost me during my teenage years, but prior to that, I always readily returned to the fold and didn’t have to constantly struggle and strive to want to stick with them or believe they had my best interest at heart. With them, that was clear.

    With God, it seems that it is (as you said) a struggle against a relentless and overwhelming force to convince myself that I am exactly where he wants me at this moment right now. The moment any free time crops up, I am again drawn to think about what I see as certain serious deficiencies right now. I can massage them with scripture, prayer, activity, involvement with my family, etc., but the constant undercurrent is longing for something I don’t currently have but want (kind of vague, I know!). But that undercurrent is “relentless -” a very appropriate and accurate word, in my case.

    Anyway, thanks again for responding.

  3. Matt,
    You’re making some good observations. If I take the whole of Scripture into consideration though, I see that we have enemy who we will fight against everyday. He shows up in Genesis 3 and we don’t get rid of him until Revelation 20.

    He’s called the father of lies, the deceiver and the destroyer. In Ephesians 6, Paul tells us to put our armor on and get ready for battle.

    I understand your analogy of parent and child, but allow me to add something to the mix. Imagine when you were a child that you had a “friend” who was continually whispering lies to you. Maybe your friend told you that your parents really didn’t love you–that when they were disciplining you that it really meant they didn’t love you. Or maybe your “friend” kept reminding you of all the children who don’t have enough to eat and that it was going to happen to you, too.

    You see my point. With someone poisoning your mind, you might begin to doubt your parents motives or willingness to provide for you.

    It’s that way in this life. We have an enemy who knows how to lie and deceive. And he is relentless. So we must battle to believe the truth.

    What do you think?

  4. “I’m not suggesting this is easy. It’s a battle. A moment by moment battle. And it’s fought in the mind.

    Anything good is worth fighting for, right?”

    mmmm….I’m not sure sure about that. God is our father (our parent). Rarely did I ever have to fight for the things my earthly parents knew I needed – food/clothing/shelter/other sustenance, recreation, education, limited autonomy, emotional/social closeness, etc. I didn’t have to struggle, scrap, ‘battle,’ strive, diligently seek (and keep seeking) these things. They were provided, and of course allotted in greater measure as I showed the ability to handle them in a mature way, and as their (imperfect) discipline/reward system took hold, I learned to refine my ability to socialize in both my family and my society. Yes, sometimes the non-survival things were withheld for brief but painful periods to exert discipline should I have transgressed house rules, but they were restored after a time, usually in greater measure.

    But maybe I’m applying the wrong analogy to God here. Sometimes it seems as though it is an endless road of fighting, battling, struggling, to get that peace described in this blog entry, and that it stands in stark contrast to both the parental analogy above, and also the promises and even prayers of Jesus that our joy might be full.

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