Eureka Springs, Arkansas
Last December, Robyn and I drove over to Eureka Springs for a night. I wanted us to get away from the busyness of the holiday season and enjoy some time together. Just the two of us.
Eureka Springs is only an hour from Fayetteville. We arrived around dinner time and checked into the Basin Park Hotel. (In the picture, it’s down the street with the green awning.)
The hotel has a colorful past. It thrived during the prohibition era and was popular with Chicago gangsters. It’s rumored that Al Capone’s sister once stayed there for a month. Some people claim to see ghosts in the hotel, but for the record, Robyn and I didn’t see any.
After we checked-in, we walked across the street to a little Italian restaurant. Our table was set into an alcove with a view of the street. Very romantic. Dinner was delicious and we had a great time just being together. After dinner, we walked back to our hotel and continued our romantic evening. Sorry, no details.
The next morning, I went downstairs to the lobby to get some Starbucks for us which we enjoyed in our room. Later, we walked around the downtown shops together. We checked out a lingerie store, but didn’t see what we wanted.
Right before lunch, we went on separate missions. We had 30 minutes and $10 each to spend on a gift for each other. The gift was to be symbolic of our first 23 years of marriage. I found a little shop that carried some fun, rather unique items and ended up spending a little over our limit. Robyn, went over, too though. We had a great time sharing our gifts with each other over lunch. Again, no details. Sorry.
After lunch, we started the drive home and arrived mid-afternoon. We were only away from home for about 20 hours, but the feelings lasted much longer. It was sort of like eating a spicy hot pepper. You don’t just feel it while eating it. The effect lingers for awhile, doesn’t it?
Is your marriage needing a little spice this holiday season? Would you like to heat things up? Here are a few ideas…
1. Get away. If there’s a romantic town like Eureka Springs nearby, then go. If you can’t get out of town, then at least find a nice hotel nearby. It’s best to try and get out of town though. There’s something about driving even an hour that adds to the mood. If your budget can’t handle a night in a hotel right now–think about making a night away your Christmas gift to each other. Believe me, it’s the best present you’ll get this year.
2. Focus on each other. Talk. Hold hands. Laugh together. Make eye contact. Open up and share your hearts. If you want to watch a movie–go ahead, but don’t sit in front of a television all night. That’s one of the things you’re getting away from. And while you’re at it, turn off your phones. The world will survive without you for 24 hours.
3. Guys, this one is for you–be romantic. There are a few ideas in #2. Here are some more: write a love letter, tell her she’s beautiful (first thing in the morning…before she’s put make up on or brushed her teeth), give her a foot massage, play with her hair (it does nothing for me, but Robyn loves it!), pray together, light some candles and run a hot bath for her (unless you’re invited, don’t get in), share a few of your favorite memories of times together, etc.
These things may not do much for you, just as having my hair played with does nothing for me, but we’re not the point here. Our wives are. Be a student of your wife. Learn her likes and dislikes, her turn-ons and turn-offs.
4. Women, it’s your turn–make it a night to remember. What does he like to see you wear? Wear it. Is there a certain hair or makeup style he prefers? Just do it. If he’s the one that usually initiates in bed–you be the initiator. But not only that, surprise him with something different. If there’s something you know he’d like, but you’ve been hesitant to try–now’s the time.
By the way, guys, this doesn’t mean it’s all about you. Remember, you’ll reap what you sow. Meet her needs (emotional and sexual) and she’ll meet yours. Also, if your wife has a stronger sex drive than you, then you need to initiate. If you’ve been too tired or too stressed for intimacy with your wife, then talk about what adjustments you can make. If you’ve got a low sex drive, then see your doctor. (You may have a low testosterone level.) Whatever the case, you have to address it. Your wife needs to know you love and desire her.
5. Get physical. There was probably a time when you couldn’t keep your hands off each other. Remember that? So crank it up a little. Kiss. Hug. Touch. Tickle. Taste. Trace. Pinch. Pat. Poke. Rub. Embrace. Knead. Nuzzle. Nestle. Massage. Caress. Cuddle. Feel. Fondle. Stroke. Squeeze. Scratch. Lick.
Not counting tonight, there are 14 days between now and Christmas Eve. Surely, for the sake of your marriage, you can find just one to devote to spicing up your marriage.
Will you do it?